New Year, (Not) New You
The saying goes, “New year, new me!”
And while with good intentions and beautiful enthusiasm for self-improvement, we actually think the real key to the desired self & lifestyle improvements many of us begin to seek during the new year season is to remember that despite it being a new year, there is not a “new you.”
You are still you.
And as you embark on the journey to lose weight, read more, be kinder, have more patience with your kids, try more new things— you have to remember who you are.
Approaching these endeavors as if you are a new person is almost a surefire way not only to fail, but also to feel an immense amount of unnecessary self-guilt for said failures.
You are still you, and it helps to remember and consider who you are as you reach for new things and try to change your habits. Because when you remember that you are someone who struggles to wake up early, you can build systems that help you reach your goals while taking that into consideration. When you remember that you are someone who impulsively says “Yes!” to things and fills up their plate very quickly, you can be conscious of this as you make decisions to make room for new activities.
“I always fall off the wagon,” “I’m terrible at sticking to it,” “This never works for me.”
It could be that we failed to include our real selves in the planning and instead, mapped out a route fit for someone who doesn’t have our struggles, weaknesses, time constraints and priorities. Maybe we “fail” (and we use this term loosely, because to have tried is a success in itself) not because of who we are, but because of who we aren’t that we thought we “should” be.
If you don’t take yourself along with you on the road to your New Year’s Resolutions, you’re sure to arrive quickly right back where you started, because it was this real self doing the work all along. And when we honor who that self is, we can create routines and make choices that align with them, rather than with a version of ourselves we long to be.
Maybe the way to change your self and make those little lifestyle tweaks is to first know your self, so you can be best equipped to make those changes and tweaks, and make sure they last past January.